Connections and Expectations

There once was a time when my primary concern going into a novel was being entertained. My life has never been excessively shitty, but there are some days where I need that escape and for the longest time, books were just that. They were my escape. My only escape.

Times have changed. I read less now, but I don't feel like my love for books has diminished; only my dependence has, and diversifying my interests may not be a bad thing. It has certainly resulted in more experiences and better writings. But, I digress.

It used to be that for me to be satisfied with a book, I needed to be entertained and that was it. I never wanted my life to change; I never fretted over other things to do. I could read and if the book did its job correctly, I would forget. I figured blogging would open new doors; I could be even closer to this hobby that I adore so dearly.

I am now. I understand publishing and what goes on behind a book much better than the average person. I've been contacted by publishers and authors and publicists. I know industry trends and many worries. I've swam beneath the waters to take a closer look than the proverbial iceberg (and *brr* it's freezing!) and now everything has changed.

Refining a critical and analytical eye means that I look for something more in books than "Did I like it?" There is a sense of responsibility because I'm not just looking at books for me, but I'm also looking at books for other readers, bloggers, and authors.

This change came into view after I reviewed Mystic City. The book earned 1 star from me, although at the end I explained how the story entertained me. If you read a book for entertainment, that book deserves a much higher rating.

I don't read books for entertainment anymore. I wan
t a book to transcend pure entertainment and become something meaningful to me. I want it to be a part of me; something that touches me and reawakens some emotion I have.

This doesn't mean I'm looking for emotional, deep books. A book with a plot or fantastical setting that transports me into a different world is enough. The most important element I look for now is a connection.

It is something I desperately crave when I read. A connection to plot, setting, characters... anything. I don't need to have fun; fun isn't necessary. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green was not fun. I hate that book even though and because it made me cry and I remember whining to my mom about how unfair the world was. Not fun. Not even likable- I don't want to feel so desperate for something substantially constant. There was a connection though. A very powerful connection that made me angry because I didn't like having my emotions turned around because of a cancer book and there was anger at myself too (Why the hell would I put myself through this?) and it was one of the most powerful reading experiences I had because of the negativity and the positivity.

Fun is great; I'm over fun. Gone are the days where I used to read Gossip Girl and The A-List. Maybe one day I will go back to wanting a book to entertain me and nothing more. Right now, I want connections and possible impacts. Books like Insigina by S.J. Kincaid are ideal because they can both entertain and engross; there are deeper aspects to the plot and world building that resonate.

I don't begrudge anyone that looks for a simple escape when they read. I'm not a person of absolutes; sometimes I will accept a book just for fun. But right now, the books I enjoy are those that can form a connection.

-P.E.

8 comments:

  1. It's totally normal for reading tastes to evolve over time. And like you said, there's nothing wrong with wanting books one way or another. Everyone has different needs or desires at different points in their lives.

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    1. That's definitely true. I guess that's what's special about being a reader- even if your tastes change, you will always have books.

      -P.E.

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  2. Hm, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I want entertaining books other times I crave more meaningful/emotional ones. And I don't think that I've changed that much since I started blogging, I'm still quite a "selfish" reader ;) That's one of the reasons I don't do many ARCs.

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    1. That makes sense too. Everyone has a different reading experience. I've been leaning toward some more entertainment style recently, but I know that can change on a dime.

      -P.E.

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  3. I can totally understand this, P.E. So, so much. I don't think I have that one book that changed everything for me like you did with Mystic City but I think as we grow as people and readers (by reading more books) we realize all books can kind of be entertaining, but only a few can really mean something, can really impress us. Thus, our ratings become lower and our expectations higher. Great post.

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    1. Thanks! I don't know if it was one book that changed my mind, but it was what kind of brought the change to light. It's a pretty gradual change, I do agree though.

      -P.E.

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  4. I had a tough year this year, and said that books are a girl's best friends. Reading has been the only way to not go insane at some points earlier in the year, but that doesn't mean that every book would be judged equally. Some books actually I had to save for another moment cause I knew I wasn't in the right place emotionally to read them, and others were absolutely amazing in the way they made me feel and change my mood completely. The more you read the more you notice cliches and see some themes repeater over and over, so the more you read the more critical you usually become.

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    1. That's definitely true. When you really begin to know something, you analyze it more than when you didn't know it. My chocolate tastes for example have leaned toward darker chocolate every year to the point where milk is too sweet. That's just because I've ate so much chocolate that I'm starting to recognize the purer ones.

      -P.E.

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