|Your eyes are deceiving you. That's totally an octagon.|
I think this always happens to some extent, but to me, I'm starting to notice some trends. When I read in the mornings on my commute to school, it makes me quiet and pensive. I'm a little foggy because my mind is still in the book. I tend to read in class too, which my teachers tend to um, discourage.
When I don't read, it's because I'm listening to music. When I listen to music, I become energetic. If I hear a song, I have to move. It's a compulsion within me to move. While reading makes me retreat into a world of me, listening to music means my eyes are free to explore the world around me, and I'm usually in a great mood.
I'm not saying that reading is bad. But I do wonder if sometimes, it's important to step back.
Some wouldn't say this is a bad thing, but then, there is some context to me.
First, I was brought up with my parents both telling me I read too much. I guess I retreated too often to my room to read, and I guess at some point I kind of developed a terrible fear of missing out on life. I don't want to grow old and not have any amazing stories to tell. I don't want to be known for reading: I want to be known for doing.
There's nothing wrong with reading. I think I love it too much, and one fundamental part of my personality is that I lean towards idealism in that I will always try to have it all: I will want the grades, the social life, the books, the healthy food, the physical fitness, everything.
Reading genuinely brings me pleasure, but there's also a part of me that has grown from when I was a kid and that is terrified when I tell people to go away, I'm reading. This part of me demands that I broaden my interests. Because when you love something too much, it can also hurt you too much.
When I was a kid, going on a reading slump sucked majorly. I didn't want to read and I suddenly didn't know what to do with myself. For aforementioned reasons, doing nothing terrified me. So, the biggest thing I've done since then is diversify myself. Nothing is ever going to be my everything. I'm always trying to explore different parts of me and life, so if some part of it is bad, I have something else to look forward to.
I know that not everyone commits like me. When I love something, I throw myself at it 100% and that has a tendency not to work out. It's perfectly reasonable that this post won't make sense to some people. But for me, sometimes, I stop myself from reading too much because as much as I love being a bookworm, I try to remember that I'm human, not some book devouring machine, and I need to explore other areas of my life as well.